Fear of panicking, fainting, or crying uncontrollably
By Dental Fear Central - Your Hub for Dental Phobia Information
If you're scared of fainting, or crying uncontrollably, or having a panic attack, it's probably because you're trying to be too brave!
Don't try and suppress your fears, but express them openly instead. You may find that accepting the anxiety and just going with the experience actually reduces your sense of panic. Fighting anxiety tends to add fuel to the fire. Keep in mind that you're not dealing with a life-or-death situation, even though it might feel like that right now - the reality is that you're free to leave anytime should you not feel comfortable with the situation.
It's OK to be bawling your eyes out or to be shaking like a leaf - if a dentist reacts negatively, at least you'll know it's not the right one for you. It may help you to put yourself into the dentist's shoes - how would you react if someone who's clearly extremely frightened and upset arrived in your practice? I'd like to think with compassion and understanding. If you should be unfortunate enough to meet a dentist who is clearly unsympathetic or even thinks it funny, run! There are tons of dentists out there who treat people the way they would like to be treated themselves.
Again - remember, you're the customer! Some people feel that "no dentist will want to treat me because I'm difficult" - and upon closer questioning, will describe their "being difficult" as simply being too scared to behave like the "normal" dental client. Frequently, dental phobia sufferers are under the impression that they have to "please" dentists by playing "the perfect patient". Not so! I don't condone aggressive behaviour, but you're perfectly entitled to have a panic attack, cry, or whatever takes your fancy - after all, you are paying for the service (either directly or indirectly).
Please refrain from aggressive behaviour - I've come across posts in the past which might suggest that aggression is a reasonably common response, but having talked to quite a few specialists in the area it would appear that aggressive behaviour is extremely uncommon. The more common pattern is one of over compliance coupled with a reluctance to communicate your needs - a frustrating experience for both dental phobia sufferers and (willing) dentists. So - communicate! The communication doesn't have to be verbal almost anything will do as long as you don't simply freeze. If you have a tendency to freeze, make sure you've got everything you want to communicate to your dentist written out. And if you're an "extreme case" and you're not even sure you can hand this written communication to your dentist, make sure they get it beforehand (by e-mail, get a confirmation before you go in, or by letter, again make sure they've seen it).
Dentists are not mind-readers - and the most common complaint from dentists regarding phobic patients is that they won't let them know what they're scared of, or when they're feeling scared. I've come across some of the most caring, nicest dentists around and the main reason why they find phobic patients stressful is that they won't let them know what's going on in their heads. So - whenever there's something you're worried or fearful about, no matter how mundane, please let your dentist know about it. Your dentist cannot put your fears at rest unless s/he knows what your fears are!
Let your dentist know about what it is you fear, either verbally or in writing, to help ensure that a stress-free time is had by all! Don't worry about having too many fears - many fears are easily addressed and finding a solution shouldn't take up much time.
If your main worry is having a panic attack during dental treatment, please read our page on fear of loss of control during dental treatment (see below). You can practice a pre-agreed stop signal with your dentist which you can use when you feel the first signs of getting upset, and take a break to calm down. If you feel unable to give a stop signal, you can work out another way, together with your dentist, by which s/he will recognize when you need a break.
What if I'm afraid of losing control during dental treatment?
Dental Fear Central - Your Hub for Dental Phobia Information
Many people are scared of the loss of control they experience in the dental chair. This can be due, for example, to past experiences where a dentist proceeded to do things to you and not stopping, in spite of you being in obvious distress, a history of abuse, or a general preference for being in control of situations.
In my view, the sense of not being in control over proceedings almost always begins outside the chair. For example, the thought that I could simply walk out if I didn't like and trust the dentist completely had never occurred to me (then again, it had never occurred to me that there might be some extremely nice dentists around, either). Realizing this helped me a lot in making an appointment. It seems totally obvious in retrospect, but most dental phobics I've talked to feel the same. We tend to assume that "the dentist" is an authority figure who has full control and power over you once you walk through that surgery door. The fact of the matter is that once you view the situation rationally, it becomes perfectly obvious that you're in charge.
In my (limited =) experience, a lot of people with dental phobia fail to realize that dental treatment is elective - in other words, you can decide which treatment (if any!) you'd like to have done. A dentist cannot force you to consent to treatment. You are the customer, what you say goes and you're in charge! I'd advise anyone with dental phobia not to even go near "the chair" unless you're perfectly happy that you like and trust your dentist. It's totally up to you if you even want to have a dentist have a look! More about this in "Doomsday - The First Appointment".
Dentists provide a service to you, the customer, which you can accept or decline. Dental phobics have a tendency to assume that dentistry is something that is done TO them, that they have no choice in the matter, and that they're at the mercy of the dentist. However, the truth is that it's entirely up to you to decide what you'd like your dentist to do - much like walking into a shop and deciding what products to buy (or not to buy). Today, many dentists view their patients as partners in their care, and will endeavour to come up with a treatment plan that takes their clients' needs into account. If you suffer from dental fear or phobia, this includes only carrying out treatment that you feel happy with.
However, if your demands are unreasonable and would amount to neglect on behalf of the dentist (for which you could then sue them), they have every right to refuse to treat you. Let's hope that's not the case, though - usually, there are several treatment options available and you should be able to work out a treatment plan you're happy with.
If you've had bad experiences in the past where a dentist wouldn't stop even though you were in obvious distress, or a dentist holding or pinning you down, it's very likely that you'll be terrified of losing control in a dental situation. If this has been your experience, it's important that your next dentist is one whom you can trust completely.
There are many ways of ensuring that you don't feel out of control, for example by starting off with real easy things and gradually building up your confidence and trust in dentists and dentistry. There are a lot of simple techniques available which can help you feel in charge. These include being talked through procedures, the use of stop-signals, a method called tell-show-do, and taking frequent breaks (especially at the start, that might mean every few seconds, until you feel sure that you feel comfortable with a procedure). You can read more about these and other techniques in the "Overcoming Dental Phobia - Psychological Methods" and Tips & Tricks pages of this website. Website address: http://www.dentalfearcentral.org/index.html
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