FEAR IS MY FAVOURITE EMOTION!
By Dean Smith—Psychologist
I bet not many of you have said that to yourself before! In fact it was not long ago that I would not have imagined saying that statement either. My clients also find it a bit mind boggling when I say this to them. In the first consultation most of my clients actually say things like:
- I hate my emotions and how they make me feel
- There is no logical reason why I should feel fearful
- My anxiety/fear is getting in the way of me reaching my goals and living life
- I am sick of constantly feeling this way
- I am an emotional wreck
- I feel out of control
- I feel like there is something wrong with me
Many people who struggle with their fear and anxiety find it very difficult to see any sort of positives in their fear and anxiety and have not been taught how to turn this emotion into a positive force in their lives.
However my own search to understand fear and anxiety (as a client and practitioner), and a recent book I have read indicates that fear and anxiety can play a very powerful role in your life, actually adding to your feelings of success, ability to reach your goals and quality of life.
A colleague of mine, Anthony Gunn (a psychologist based in NSW), stumbled across this idea also and decided to do some research to test the theory. His idea was to interview so called “fear professionals”, professional athletes, police, SAS soldiers, boxers, martial artists and explorers etc and talk to them about how they deal with fear. He believed that they must have some magical way of staying fearless in order to accomplish what they do in their lives.
However the opposite was actually the case—his research showed that these people in our community still feel much fear and anxiety and probably more than most because of what they do. The difference is that they have much more effective ways of dealing with their fear and anxiety.
Other researchers like Leslie Greenberg (developer of “emotional focused therapy”) and Daniel Goleman (“emotional intelligence”) have also put forward the idea that emotional intelligence is a very real phenomena. They believed that we can learn to develop these skills to turn our emotions into valuable and useful experiences that add to our lives instead of holding us back which is the case with so many people who suffer with anxiety.
Over the last few years I have been working on developing a program that takes clients through a structured process to expand their knowledge and teach them the skills to turn fear and anxiety into a valuable resource in their life. I have called this my Emotional Coaching Program. The program consists of 12 weekly one on one sessions that are designed to give clients the background knowledge practical skills to transform their relationship with anxiety. The sessions and all the learning is conducted in a very practical fashion allowing clients to quickly start applying new knowledge and skills in the real world so they can reach the goals they have always wanted to reach.
Dean is a registered psychologist and natural therapist working in private practice in Coburg and St Kilda Road.
You can find out more about his approach to anxiety on his websites (holistic approaches to anxiety www.activemindandbody.com.au or the emotional coaching program www.emotionalcoaching.com.au ) or he would be happy to answer any questions you may have. He can be contacted on 93842700 and emotionalcoach@optusnet.com.au.
