Panic Attacks Ruined My Life
Bev Aisbett's life became hell when she suffered severe anxiety. She wanted to walk into the sea and never come out.
Bev Aisbett was a sensitive child who took things to heart. As she grew older, that sensitivity stayed with her. She worried about what people thought of her, and questioned whether she was good enough to fit in with friends. In spite of being a talented artist, Bev had a niggling doubt she'd ever be talented enough.
So when Bev decided to become a freelance cartoonist, she put herself under enormous stress. A few weeks after she resigned from her job to start her own business, she had her first panic attack. She says it came out of nowhere.
"I was at a dinner and suddenly the world crashed around me. I felt in terrible danger, as if a gun was being held to my head. Waves of panic hit me. My heart was racing so hard I felt it would crash out of my chest."
That attack lasted a few minutes and was the first of many. The attacks robbed Bev of her self-confidence. Then she sank into a depression.
"You think you're going to be stuck with these problems forever. Every day was hell," Bev says.
"Four months after my first panic attack my partner and I went to a beach house with friends for a weekend. I felt like a freak because I found it hard to relax.
"When everyone else went off to the beach I said I wanted to lie down because I was exhausted. I seriously contemplated walking into the sea and not coming out. But my friends returned early, which stopped me going through with my plan. My despair was overwhelming."
Bev woke each morning wondering how she would cope. "You're a puppet to your emotions."
She began tackling her anxiety through psychological counselling. Bev used her cartooning skills to draw funny pictures and messages to remind herself that the black moments would pass. She has since created the IT Kit to help other sufferers conquer mental health problems. "IT" is the name Bev gave the monster that tormented her.
"I visualised the IT monster and argued back. I had created this thing within me and I had the power to uncreate it. I learnt about myself and recognised I was too sensitive, too self-critical and placed too many expectations upon myself. So I tried to be less critical and not take things to heart.
"Medication helped," Bev adds. "I took tranquillisers and antidepressants for a short time, but I didn't want to rely on them for long. I've since met many people who have suffered anxiety and depression. It's a bigger problem than people realise."
DEPRESSION FACTS
In Australia one in four women and one in six men will experience depression at some time. But the Mental Health Foundation of Australia believes most sufferers are misdiagnosed with fatigue or anxiety. Depression is a feeling of extreme sadness.
THE SYMPTOMS
- appetite or weight loss
- disrupted sleep patterns
- feeling tired all the time
- inability to concentrate
- feeling restless or particularly agitated
- feeling worthless and that life is not worth living
SOURCE: MENTAL HEALTH FOUNDATION OF AUSTRALIA.
WANT TO KNOW MORE?
Phone the Mental Health Foundation in your state or the Australian
Psychological Society on (03) 8662 3300.
For more information on the IT Kit phone 0412 176 396.
Re-printed (Woman's Day - 24th March, 2003)
